Home Series - Stop playing the COMPARISON game. (PT 2)

I remember when I was growing up, my friends and I used to compare everything with each other. We would compare clothes, shoes, bags, hairstyles and everything that can be compared. I'm not sure if it's just a girls thing or if boys do them, too. But it's not so cool anymore when you bring that habit into your adult life. It is tiring to constantly compare and compete with people. When we're young, we do a lot of childish things and carry childish behaviour. But growing up requires us to stop somewhere, consider our ways and redirect our steps, changing the things we do and carry as wives and moms.

Let me list out what comparing and competing does to your HOME when you are a mom or a wife:

1) It does not help your HOME experience the best version of YOU

Comparing and competing with someone else makes you live life through the eyes of others, hence neglecting your core responsibilities and duties as a mom and wife. Don't forget that your husband married YOU, not the woman you constantly are competing with. He chose YOU for your qualities and uniqueness so continue to be YOU and instead of wearing yourself out by comparing and competing with another, try WORKING on YOU so you are better for your husband and children.

2) Fuels jealousy, covetousness and greed

A woman who is constantly comparing and competing with someone else is an unattractive woman. Why? Because she is choosing to fuel jealousy, greed and covetousness by fanning the flames of 'I need to have that, too'. It is not attractive when you're constantly looking over at others' shoulder when your family is trying to look at YOU. Most times, you don't need what you see others have or own, you just think you need it because of the desire to satisfy your insecurity. The insecurity that makes us think we are not good enough if we do not send our kids to all the activities our friends are sending their kids to or to get our kids all the latest toys and gadgets that their friends have. Nothing can replace YOU. Your HOME will have everything it needs if it has the best version of YOU.

3) Steals your passion and joy

Your passion and joy is now focused on having the same or being the same as the person you're comparing and competing with. It is no longer simple walks with the hubby or impromptu movies with the kids. Because your goal is to be the same or better than the other, you are constantly planning to outdo rather than 'to be'. So, instead of steering your passion and fun towards planning quality time with your family or 'Do It Yourself' surprises that will make a lasting impact on your kids, you are feeling inadequate and joy-less (if there's such a word) because you are looking at Facebook or Instagram and wishing you had what your friends have. Do not let anything, especially not comparing your life with someone else's, steal your passion and joy. True happiness comes from within and you have everything you need right in your HOME to fuel your passion and joy.

How do you stop this destructive behaviour? The first step is to recognize and know that God has a unique plan for your family. He has a unique call for your family. Start asking Him to show you what it is and begin to walk in that direction and He will slowly lead you to be a blessing to other homes. Secondly, embrace yourself, your position in the home and your responsibilities as a full time call. To be a wife and a mom is a full time, lifelong call that requires tremendous heart, work and sacrifice. And everything that you put out on the table of life is food to the soul for your family. What is your family 'eating'? Are they searching for security, acceptance and love outside your home because you're too busy comparing and competing with others that you have no time to dish out wholesome 'meals' for your family to 'eat'? Or do they run to YOU, as the pillar of love and comfort in the home for what their soul needs? 

When you fully embrace yourself, you fully flourish in your position and role.


Lastly, love yourself and cherish yourself. You need to be fully prepared for the long haul. Raising a family is not short term or short distance, it is long! It is tiring and demanding. So take the time to love yourself by knowing that your Creator first loved you. He put so much in creating you, unique and beautiful. Cherish who you are and let that love overflow to your family.


Your HOME needs you, not more decorative items, furniture or even paint! Your HOME needs the wisdom and discretion of a godly wife to help with decisions and navigation. Your HOME needs the love and care of a godly mom to help shape and frame the world of your children with words of life. Your HOME needs the determination and perseverance of a godly woman to keep declaring and believing in the promises of God and fighting the good fight of FAITH! Your HOME needs YOU. All of WHO GOD MADE YOU TO BE.