Mommy Post

Sleep-deprived? No place to sleep anymore? No time to shave those hairy legs? No time to finish a decent meal without being interrupted? No time to fully be present and focus on other conversations besides the one you're having with your kids right now? Can't hold your husband's hand in the movies or in the mall anymore because your girls have taken over? What TV? If you nodded your head vigorously in agreement to all of the above, or most of it (and I'm not even done with the list yet), WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD!

It is the most sweetest oohs and aahs you let out when they hand over your little newborn to you. But it is a totally different thing when they grow into toddlers and children; you hear yourself letting out a different kind of oohs and aahs!

I have a 11 year old boy, 8 year old girl and 3 year old girl. All three are different in nature, personality and needs. And if you're a mom, you'll know that 'drama' is part of everyday life. If there are moments in my day where I am not in the middle of any drama, I pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. Every day I wake up and tell myself that it is all going to be ok and I'm the adult so I should be able to have everything under control when it comes to the children and I will be a better mommy that day. But of course, we all know that when 'that time' comes, we lose it and only shouting or screaming seem to be the solution to it all. 

Besides my husband who helps calm me down when I'm in the middle of kids 'drama', the only other Person I run to for help is God. I'm not being spiritual or even trying to be but this is my life and my story. And I find that going to God for help even in the smallest and most natural problems help me with sanity! Instead of losing it, I find wisdom. So this morning as we were going through our day, I heard my 3 year old bang the door in the other room, shouting at her sister, crying at the same time. Girls and multitasking. It just comes naturally. Bang door, shout at sister and cry! So I went over to see what the commotion was all about and found that she was upset because of an eraser. Yup, a tiny eraser. I didn't say a word but took her hand and walked over to my room. I made her stand in front of me as I sat in front of her and tell me what the issue was calmly. She told me the story and blamed her sister for taking "her" eraser (not hers) so she got angry. Then I rationally explained to her that whatever the problem is, banging the door is not accepted in this house and neither is shouting. Ha! Easier said than done. She burst out crying and said I was scolding her. Then I reassured her that I wasn't scolding her but merely pointing out bad behaviour so she could behave better. I also told her that it was my job as a mommy to bring correction when I see unpleasant behaviour. To my surprise, she stopped crying and listened to my words and nodded her head in agreement. The rest is history. I was amazed because her response to the correction was mature and unbelievable.

So I decided to write this down and share a few tips to help all of us be more effective in playing our role as mommies.

1. Start your day by going to God or His Word for wisdom and direction.

2. Maintain your peace and remain calm despite the chaos and drama around you. 

3. Take the child who is causing the drama out of the situation to a neutral place like another room, etc. This helps you stay calm and gives the child time to think and not be so emotionally charged up.

4. Make the child stand in front of you but you either sit or stoop into a lower position so you are not hovering over the poor kid but on an eye level position. This removes fear from the child.

5. Speak in a neutral but firm tone and ask first. Ask what the situation is about, what happened, why, etc.

6. Hear it out and lay out or remind the child on your house rules. Do not speak about the child as that creates a negative self image, rather address the behaviour.

7. Give an instruction or a consequence according to the situation and your own rules. It's important to strictly point out what is acceptable and what is not.

 8. Once all is said and done, let the child know you love him/her and you need to correct in order to help them grow up. Also mention that you are doing your job as their mom.

9. Lots of hugs!

I am not a psychologist or a trained child educator but these are the things we can do to improve the way we correct our children. It keeps our sanity and theirs! Next time you need to correct your child, try these tips and let me know how it goes! Enjoy motherhood! All the BEST!!